The 2008 We Bleed Teal Bloggies

With the NHL Awards upon us tonight at 7 PM EST (CBC/VERSUS) we decided to hold an awards show of our own. This list is by no means a definitive collection of NHL blogs around the internet- there are countless sites who do an amazing job. I'd be working all summer if I attempted to mention every site I've had the pleasure of enjoying this season. In fact, if you'd like to nominate someone else's blog (or even your own), come up with a name for the award and submit a write-in ballot in the comments section.

With that being said, welcome to the We Bleed Teal Bloggies.



Although our host doesn't watch hockey on TV (along with the rest of America apparently), he sure as hell can't pass up an awards shows. Let's give a nice lukewarm welcome to Tiger Woods who's sporting a spiffy new hat for the occasion.



"Welcome one, welcome all to the first annual Bloggies. Now as you all have heard, we have some special awards to give out tonight to some special people. Bloggers who go that extra mile to deliver the most up to date and accurate information. Bloggers who warm our hearts with laughter, and those who give us statistical analysis that would make CNN proud. These are the bloggers who lay it all on the line. The bloggers who serve the masses. The bloggers who serve the NHL. And most importantly, the bloggers who serve you.

Frankly, no one's watching hockey on TV anymore because they're all on the internet reading about it. Or at the arena taking in a game. It's a great sport to watch live. Yeah I'm sort of backtracking here. Let's move on.

Please now direct your attention to the podium where Gordon Bombay joins us to kick off the awards presentation."


"Hello America. We would like to start off the show by recognizing the people who are in their prime- the people who are at the top of the Blogdom community. The award "Simply The Best" does not mean to imply that they are pompous and conceited people- in fact, we use this term with the utmost respect. Honestly, they probably don't give two hoots and a holler (whatever that means) about this award. They have more hardware than Sir George Solti.

This reward is presented to three people, our leaders on the interweb highway. We would follow these men into battle even if we knew death was the only possible outcome. The award for "Simply The Best" goes to The Good Doctor James Mirtle, Greg Wyshynski from Puck Daddy, and Eric McErlain from NHL Fanhouse and Off Wing Opinion."

Tina Turner takes the stage in a stunning rendition of "Simply The Best"

We now move on to the best place for hockey news. Because we only made about $5.63 on advertising in the last three months, we were forced to sell this spot to the highest bidder. Unfortunately we ended up having to pay them to use their logo. Basically it was the biggest mistake since the O.J. Simpson verdict. Anyways, this award is brought to you by Target. From frozen food to red-hot electronics, Target is your one stop shop for anything you'll need if you're a mom in Suburbia driving a mini-van.


Illegal Curve & Kukla's Korner- Illegal Curve and Kukla's Korner share the "One Stop Shop" award for their commitment to providing the most up to date information on the NHL. Updated hourly, the two staffs compile everything you could possibly imagine. From transactions and trades (which are much more viable than Elklund's mumbo jumbo) to each teams franchise news, these two sites are truly a one stop shop for all things NHL. Which technically makes it a two stop shop..... Whatever.

Up next is an award that has been battled over all year. Here to present the award is Chris Pronger of the Anaheim Ducks and General George Patton.

Chris Pronger elbows his way to the podium while Patton drives a tank through the crowd to join him. Although the screams of the masses could elicit a tear from even Bob Probert, Pronger and Patton do not bat an eyelash.


Chris Pronger: "Good to be here, it's refreshing to get out of the penalty box once in awhile. Our next award winners are all about striking a balance between statistical juggernautery, and wordplay that Will Shakespeare would be proud of. Every day is a battle. No matter the situation, these guys always stomp, er, step up to the occasion."
Patton: "Throughout history men have waged war, and in these wars some of the greatest battles have taken place. Good men die. But not these bastards. No, these sons-of-bitches have proved that the cozy confines of the couch are no exception when it comes to fighting for your lives. "The Battle of The Battles Battle" victor is none other than the The Battle of California."

The Battle of California- Encompassing three teams (Anaheim, San Jose, LA) while including guest posts for the Dallas Stars, BOC edged out their more than worthy runner-up The Battle of Alberta (who are their forefathers apparently) for the crown. Earl Sleek's statistical prowess, Rudy Kelly's cut-to-the-chase ideals, PJ's timely analysis, and O'Brien's pop-culture references make BOC the best place (besides the Sunset Strip during the glam rock days) to be when you're touring the sun soaked West Coast.

And now a word from our sponsors.



Welcome back to The Bloggies. Next up on the docket is the award for best place to be a fan.


"Ey there now, how ya doin. When I'm not enjoying da Bears or pounding down polish sausages like Takeru Kobayashi you can find me feigning off the ol heart attacks and watching bootlegged Mike Ditka home videos from his childhood. But when I'm in da mood for some old time ice hockey I head over to NHL Fanhouse, which will be taking home this year's award for "Da Best Place To Be A Hockey Fan."

NHL Fanhouse- Justifying it's namesake, NHL Fanhouse was this year's best place to be a hockey fan. Towards the end of the Stanley Cup playoffs they ran a live blog during each of the games, where fans could chat live with the staff as well as other fans. The live interactivity with fellow hockey fans added more depth to their already extensive coverage, and provided an outlet for the reader's voice to be heard. Kudos to Fanhouse for some groundbreaking work.

Due to time and monetary constraints, our next two awards will be presented by our newest member of the We Bleed Teal staff, Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Hacksaw has had a little to drink tonight (if two bottles of Jameson and seven Bloody Mary's can be considered a little), so please attempt to bear with him.


"These boys are bigger than Andre The Giant, and although we had a falling out as of late, deep down I still have love for them like Charlie has love for the Castro District in San Francisco. Just not in that awkward homoerotic Top Gun kind of way. The award for "Nailing Jokes Like Ron Jeremy" goes to The Pensblog. HOOOOOOOOOOOO"

The Pensblog- Not much to be said here. If you don't know about The Pensblog you're either Stevie Wonder or a Flyers fan. Either way, you have trouble reading. The community over there is top of the line, and even if you could care less about the Penguins, you read Pensblog because they make Richard Pryor look like an open mic act at your local high school. Not to mention their photoshops, which deserve a website of their own.

Excuse me folks, but Hacksaw seems to have found it neccesary to urinate on Tiger Woods pant leg ("This will get some ratings, dick"). Due to this we will have to announce our next award over the PA system while we clean up the mess. Apologies to Mr. Woods for your soiled Dockers, your presence here is apeeciated, excuse me, appreciated.

The award for "Best Blog That You Thought Was Run By A Celebrity, Found Out It Wasn't, But Stuck Around Anyways Because It's A Darn Good Blog" goes to Barry Melrose Rocks.

Barry Melrose Rocks- BMR is a site that practices the great art of combining insight with witty wordplay. Each day is a new day at BMR- Tuesday you may get an "interview" with Jeremy Roenick, while Thursday brings a thoughtful and concise argument on what Gary Bettman can do better as Commissioner. All while rocking a finely greased mullet. And hey, who doesn't love a little false advertising while you're at it?

Once again, we turn to a word from our sponsors in an effort to generate cheap revenue and support our affinity for cheap liquor.



Welcome back to The Bloggies ladies and gentlemen. With that brilliant marketing effort by Edge [sic] stuck in our collective heads, I feel it would be a good time to highlight two awards that run along the same lines. I present to you The Four Habs Fans and Hockey Ladies of Greatness.

"Best Blog To Incorporate Good Looking Girls" Award- Four Habs Fans spend their time talking about the Canadiens while being one of the wittiest blogs out on Al Gore. Oh and they have good looking girls. Lots of em.

"Best Blog Who Are Most Likely Good Looking Girls" Award- Hockey Ladies of Greatness is a conglomeration of women (most of whom have their own team specific site) that provide solid coverage on the NHL. A quality site for one who likes the female fan perspective, or someone who is looking to talk hockey.


As we enter into the tail-end of our broadcast tonight, we would like to thank you all for coming and showing your support of Blogdom. There are a bunch of quality sites on the web for NHL news, and unfortunately we could not touch upon them all. Be sure to check out the blog roll on the left hand portion of your screen for more puck news.

Our final award selections are sponsored by the world-renowned Hockey Night In Canada Theme Song, which can be heard on CBC TSN (ouch) in the upcoming year. Dolores Claman, take us away!



"Rick Astley Memorial" Award- In honor of those who are never going to give you up, let you down, run around or desert you, this award is presented to the entire Toronto Maple Leafs blogosphere. I'm not sure how you men and women do it, but the dedication to your franchise is something to behold.

"More Breakdowns Than Britney Spears" Award- Japers' Rink takes the crown for their pure enjoyment of breaking down the Washington Capitals. There are more numbers being thrown around here than a college frat party. A must-read for stat heads.

"Kids Say The Darndest Things" Award?- Jeffrey Paswick blogs about hockey and various other personal issues. It's of no surprise his team of choice is the New Jersey Devils.

"Blogging Champion" Award- Abel To Yzerman won this title from The Pensblog after Detroit won the Stanley Cup. Just to clarify, Pensblog was the brains behind this operation, but I feel it is worth noting.

"Best Sharks Blog" Award- Is this even a contest? Sharkspage continues to dominate with up to the minute news articles about the San Jose Sharks, making it the one place you need to visit to get your daily dose of teal.

"Classiest Blog" Award- On Frozen Blog delivers such engaging articles it's no surprise that their site's slogan is, "A Haven For The Hockey Malnourished." And boy do they ever live up to that billing. Created as a response to the lack of mainstream media covering the Capitals, OFB deserves every ounce of praise ever heaped upon them. The definition of class and journalistic integrity.



On behalf of We Bleed Teal I'd like to thank everyone for coming out tonight. Have a great offseason, remember to drive safe, and be sure to tune into the NHL Awards show tonight at 7 Eastern.




[Editor's Note] All depictions of players and persons were published for creative purposes only.